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A Good Partner is Key to Married Clergywomen’s Satisfaction in Ministry; Why Is It a Different Story for Married Clergymen?
March is Women's History Month. We're using it to explore why having a good partner matters so much for married clergywomen—and how congregations may play a big role in their well-being.
Trends in Ministry Flourishing
A good partner is key to married clergywomen’s satisfaction in ministry; why is it a different story for married clergymen?
A supportive spouse matters, especially if you’re a married clergywoman.
In an article recently published in the Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion, our researchers found that spousal support is the most important kind of support for married clergywomen’s satisfaction in ministry. We expected this finding to be true for all married clergy, given that the United Methodists we surveyed are part of an “itinerant” system in which they may move frequently between congregations and, if married, see their spouse as one of few constants. But when we ran the analysis separately by gender, we found a surprisingly different story for men. Married clergymen were most satisfied when they had a variety of social support; support from their spouse alone mattered less.
So, how did we get here—and why does it matter?
We know feeling supported is a critical factor in anyone’s job satisfaction. Our interpersonal relationships help us to believe that we’re loved, respected, and connected to a network of mutual obligation. For clergy, these relationships can be especially helpful for coping with job-related stress—for instance, by drawing on trusted congregants to troubleshoot a ministry idea or sharing difficulties with loved ones who won’t judge them for being human. Having support like this isn’t just good for the soul; it’s also good for our health—reducing mental health symptoms like depression, anxiety, and burnout. But does it matter for clergy’s well-being who the support comes from? we wondered.
Using data from the Statewide Clergy Health Survey, we identified our clergy respondents as falling into one of five subgroups: All Around Support, Spouse and Sometimes Others, Primarily Spouse, Friends and Relatives, and Socially Isolated. We then set out to explore how these different combinations of social support affect ministry satisfaction. In our first round of analysis, we found that compared to Socially Isolated pastors, clergy in the other four social support profiles were significantly more likely to report higher ministry satisfaction—with those in the All Around Support group reporting the highest level.
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Interestingly, the highest proportion of clergywomen fell into the All Around Support group, while the highest proportion of clergymen fell into the Primarily Spouse group. These findings mirror those from the Pew Research Center that show while an equal percentage of women and men report turning to their spouse or partner for emotional support, women are significantly more likely to report also leaning on their mom, a friend, or another family member.
However, after separating out married clergy and accounting for reported marital quality in the second round of our analysis, we found something puzzling. The social support profiles of married clergywomen no longer correlated with their ministry satisfaction, while the social support profiles of married clergymen remained highly relevant. Instead, marital quality was the factor most associated with married clergywomen's flourishing in ministry.
In other words, while married clergywomen may often have a good all-around support system, a good marriage is more critical to their vocational well-being.
More research is needed to understand the “why” behind the findings that marital quality is more important for clergywomen’s satisfaction in ministry than men’s. We know from other research that clergywomen are likely to face added stress in their ministries, due to things like gendered expectations regarding religious authority, lower levels of compensation, and greater barriers in their career—all of which can have a negative effect on their well-being and their families. It’s possible that these clergywomen are more in need of a partner at home who’s got their back, cheering them on from the sidelines or defending their latest sermon in the pews. Whatever the reason may be, the evidence is clear: clergywomen need their partner’s support to thrive in ministry.
It should be noted that clergywomen aren’t the only ones in need of strong marital support. In another recently published article in the Journal of Family Issues, we found several other sociodemographic variables that were also significantly related to clergy marital satisfaction. For example, being Black, having a higher number of relocations, having children at home, experiencing financial stress, having poorer overall health, and serving in a rural context were significantly related to lower marital satisfaction among clergy, to varying degrees. This pattern suggests that the conditions faced by the above clergy require greater coping effort, which may take a toll on marriages—and explain why supportive ones are such a boon.
So, what marital supports might actually make a difference for clergy?
We found support from congregants to be highly associated with the quality of clergy marriages. This finding suggests that both congregational support and hostility are significantly related to marital satisfaction—which is good news! Clergy often rely heavily and sometimes exclusively on support from their spouse to sustain themselves in ministry, which can make it feel like it’s up to them and them alone to nurture their marriage. However, knowing that congregants may influence the quality of clergy marriages—and positively make a difference in clergy’s work and home life—can help remind us all that clergy well-being is a group project. Clergy are not required to save themselves.
Communal strategies for improving clergy marriages might begin by addressing married clergy's on-the-job stress. For example, structured conversations between Pastor or Staff-Parish Relations Committees and clergy can help clarify how exactly a congregation will support and protect married clergy’s time with their spouse. Denominational leaders might also do well to continue investing in peer support networks and group retreats where clergy can share coping strategies that help reduce feelings of isolation and stress; the same offerings might also benefit clergy spouses. Finally, providing affordable access to professional counseling services for clergy and their spouses is always a reliable way for denominations, congregations, and other community partners to help clergy address both occupational and marital issues in a safe space.
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Of course, when clergy and their spouses do want to independently explore improving their marriages, there are always books to accompany them! Rev. Dr. Donna Coltrane Battle, who has her PhD in marriage and family therapy, recommends The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert by psychologist John Gottman or, for something with a Christian framework, Choosing Us: Marriage and Mutual Flourishing in a World of Difference by pastor Gail Song Bantum and theologian Brian Bantum.
Although the focus of this month's newsletter is the impact of marriage on women and men's ministry satisfaction, it's important to remember that social support from a variety of sources is still golden. If you are married, the support of your spouse matters greatly, but thankfully, it's not the only thing that does. It takes all kinds of kin to be the kin-dom of God.
Your Serve Well Resource
Bear One Another's Burdens: A Handy Guide for P/SPRCs to Support Clergy in Times of Stress
The job description of the Pastor- and Staff-Parish Relations Committees (P/SPRCs) in the United Methodist Church includes: “To encourage, monitor, and support clergy and lay staff in the pursuit of health and wholeness.” But where to start? It may help for congregational leaders to first understand the stressors clergy face (including family stress). This guide is designed to help them do just that. In it, you’ll read about what clergy have told us about the day-to-day challenges in their ministry, along with our own suggestions for making a positive difference in their well-being.
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About Us
The Collaborative is a partnership between the Duke Clergy Health Initiative (CHI) and Duke Religion and Social Change Lab (RaSCL). CHI focuses on providing pastors with tools to improve their physical, emotional, and spiritual health, while RaSCL focuses on helping current and future faith leaders adapt to evolving times. Together, we serve those who want to serve well. Our work is made possible thanks to the generous time of our clergy and seminarian ministry partners and generous funding from The Duke Endowment. To stay informed of our latest research into ministry formation and flourishing, sign up to get our monthly Serve Well newsletter directly to your inbox.